JOKES

• Cut these jokes into strips.
• Give each student in your class a strip.
• They should then match the strips i.e. the questions and the punch lines.
• As a follow-up activity, ask the students to translate a joke from their own language into English.

------------------------------------------------------------
How do monsters count to 15?
------------------------------------------------------------
On their fingers.
------------------------------------------------------------
What should you take if you're run down?
------------------------------------------------------------
The number of the car that ran you down.
------------------------------------------------------------
Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers?
------------------------------------------------------------
In case they get a hole in one.
------------------------------------------------------------
Do men always snore?
------------------------------------------------------------
Only when they're asleep.
------------------------------------------------------------
How do hens dance?
------------------------------------------------------------
Chick to chick.
------------------------------------------------------------
Why was the sword swallower put in prison?
------------------------------------------------------------
Because he coughed and killed two people.
------------------------------------------------------------
What would you get if you crossed a parrot with a centipede?
------------------------------------------------------------
A walkie-talkie.
------------------------------------------------------------
What gets plenty of answers but never asks any questions?
------------------------------------------------------------
The doorbell.
------------------------------------------------------------
What do ghosts do at 11am?
------------------------------------------------------------
Have a coffin break.
------------------------------------------------------------
What sort of ghosts haunt hospitals?
------------------------------------------------------------
Surgical spirits.
------------------------------------------------------------
How can you double your money?
------------------------------------------------------------
Fold it in half.
------------------------------------------------------------
Who invented fire?
------------------------------------------------------------
A bright spark.
------------------------------------------------------------
How can you get rid of varnish?
------------------------------------------------------------
Remove the R.
------------------------------------------------------------

Source: http://eslsite.com